The list is piling up. I have to email this office, coordinate with dad in order to transport the reformer, call my bank to change my address, schedule a meeting with the clinic to talk about an online platform, brainstorm ideas for this studio’s summer workshop series, plan class for the week, research that specific autoimmune lung issue, and somehow find time to pack up my whole life and move to Palo Alto, CA. Oh yeah, and because I’m a Pilates instructor trying to practice what I preach, I have to find time to do self care, workout, and study. The age old question creeps into my mind, “Why can’t there be more hours in a day?!”
It’s been a busy couple months taking this huge risk of moving to the Silicon Valley, turning my life upside down, leaving what’s comfortable and stepping into an arena that will be competitive, challenging, hard (both financially, physically, and mentally) and fast paced. And all throughout the insanity, I keep coming back to a nagging self inquiry, “What is your message?” And honestly, I think I have been asking this particular question of myself for quite some time. “What is my message? What do I have to say? Why is it important? And how is it different and unique?” And then directly following this set of questions, self doubt nestles it’s way in. “Who are you to give advice? There are other people who are smarter than you in this field, so why do you think anybody would want to listen to you? What if you say something wrong?” And after the barrage, exhausted, I tend to push those negative questions under the carpet and lean on one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite characters and movie, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”
I am from a small town by the Jewel of the Sierras, Lake Tahoe. Growing up, I was always interested in movement. Dance and soccer particularly. That love followed me into college and into a professional career of acting, singing and dancing. While living in New York, I discovered a love for Pilates, and a love for anatomy, rehabilitation, health, and wellness. My career in movement has brought me from the beaches of Southern California, to the bustle and cold of East Coast, and finally to the tech hub of the Bay Area. I am certified in many modalities and methods besides Pilates, and I use these methods to create a unique approach to personal training and rehabilitation. My clients are my pride and joy, and I am constantly looking for new ways and the latest in science to increase their, and my potential.
I shouldn’t have self doubts when life has been so good to me, and I have learned so much from every move to a new place, family tragedy, new relationship, and incredible travels to distant countries. But guess what, we’re human and we all have them. The trick is, do we shuffle them under the carpet like I am prone to do, or do we step out, define them and ultimately face our fears? And by defining our fears we create an awareness. And that awareness, from my perspective, may provide the answers to the fears we face.
That is my message. How can we create awareness? What is awareness? What does it mean to have awareness in movement and fitness, diet and nutrition, family and relationships, and spirituality? Because when we are aware, the world becomes a little less unpredictable, a little less scary, and we are able to function and perform optimally without the nagging fears and self doubt.
This blog is called the Art of Awareness Project. Here you will find information on health, self care, wellness practices, tips for nutrition, some of the latest in neuroscience, habit coaching ideas, a deep look at the Pilates repertoire and other movement methods. It is my desire that you find tools, hacks, inspiration, and clarity from the mass of information on health and wellness that is out there in the internet. So to start us off, I have decided to take the self doubt and fears out from under the carpet and become aware of what they are, so I can diffuse some of the nerves and anxiety I feel. My challenge to you is to do the same. Can you become aware of the narrative of self doubt and fear that runs through your mind? Can you put it on a piece of paper, see it, and fight it with me? Together, will you join me on this journey of self discovery, creating awareness, and ultimately, optimizing our physical, mental, and spiritual potential? So stand tall and breathe big my brave souls, here we go!